Friday, March 26, 2010

Mo Wants to Know: Where's the Love?

Discussion of the new health care bill are all over the media outlets, aren't they? Everybody's talkin' about it; on the television, on the radio, on the web...everybody's got an opinion! Which is great, as far as I'm concerned. The more people talking about it, the better. But, that's not really what I want to talk about today. I only mention it because that was the recent topic of discussion that inadvertently got Mo's Mind wonderin' about the level of civility in our country (world?), and has me askin' where's the love?!.


A friend of mine made the observation that it seems to her, no matter the party that is currently sitting in office, no matter the particular issue at hand, it always seems the nay-sayers are the loudest voices in the crowd. (On that particular issue, I am one of these fellows, but again, that's a different topic for a different time) This got me to think that perhaps this is true in all areas of our society as a whole. I read an article somewhere that the proverbial "they" did a study and found that people are much more inclined, when in restaurants and retail establishments and the like, to report to a manager when they received perceived "bad customer care" as opposed to giving out kudos for a job well-done. A friend of mine recently lamented on the loss of certain acquaintances because, they told her, her postings and updates were too "upbeat" and "happy". I can't tell you how many times I've heard people say that they don't like Rachel Ray for that very reason. We all exclaim that we want to "look on the bright side", but any reporter will tell you that "if it bleeds it leads". How long has the Jerry Springer show been on the air?! Some body's watching it, rather they admit to it or not. Is it that much easier to keep up with the latest scandal in Washington or Hollywood -- or, in our own neighborhoods and backyards, because we're more inclined to look for it? Are we guarded, cynical towards others intentions, and therefore always expecting some underlying duplicity, some 'angle' in every word and deed? No matter how much we proclaim and protest that we want to see "good news", as a society we seem to gravitate towards the mud. We WANT the dirty laundry.

In a recent discussion, someone close to me stated that they thought themselves a better judge of character than me, insinuating (
well, blatantly stating, actually) that I was a bit naive' when it came to looking at the world -- that I wasn't cynical "enough". I don't think of myself as naive'; I prefer the term "optimistic"..."hopeful", maybe. But, I DO believe that, overall, society tends to lean toward the whispered rumors; that they would much rather hear word of your hurdles, than the details of your latest win. Perhaps the being in "opposition" or looking for the underlying scandal of every occurrence makes us feel that we're not an easy mark, but could it be we're all becoming TOO cynical in our efforts to prove we're not going to be taken advantage of that we loose all sense of anything positive? Can't it be possible that some things are NOT malevolent, manipulative or menacing, and things CAN be just as good as they appear to be? Sometimes a cigar IS just a cigar. Or, is that me, being naive'? This week, Mo Wants to Know:

Do you consider yourself to be a cynical person, or do you fall on the hopeful side? When you meet someone for the first time, are you more apt to first think "He seems friendly" or more likely, "Why is he being so friendly?" Do you assume good-intentions or are you apt to look for the angle? Do you think its better to be guarded and skeptical, or open and vulnerable? And, do you think we SEE more negativity because there IS more negativity in the world today, or because we LOOK FOR it more diligently?


And, again, if you have read these words, I hope you'll take a minute and post your thoughts here in the comments....everybody has an opinion, and I'm very interested to hear yours!

4 comments:

Shelly B. said...

Wow, good one Mo!

Simple answer .. for me anyway. You put it perfectly.

"We see what we look for and if we look for the ugly, we will see the ugly"

I see a "miracle" every morning!

I absolutely LOVE that life is what we make of it. I LOVE that it can be anything I want it to be. It's freeing. It means that, if I don't like something, all I have to do is change it!

What could be more sublime, perfect and joyous than that?!

Of course I'm also told that I'm a bit naive. I'm not. I'm hyper aware of what's going on around me. I just make different choices and, as far as I can tell, I feel better than most.

They say "the proof is in the pudding ... well here's my pudding ... how about yours?" Do you feel as open, happy and delighted by life as I do? No ... well then "no thanks!"

But yes, society at large seems to be generally pretty unhappy. They do tend to gravitate toward the negative. And it is a protective measure, I wholeheartedly agree.

Wish I could reach out there and say, "pay attention to WHAT you're paying attention to." It will make all the difference in the world!

Hugs to you Mo,
Shelly

jehara said...

I can be a cynic at times, but for the most part I am very positive and optimistic. I firmly believe that what you focus on you create. I do think society tends to focus on the negative. There are plenty of positive stories out there but that doesn't sell. Tragedy, rumors and gossip sell.
I think some people and perhaps society as a whole find it difficult to be happy for others, to celebrate others' accomplishments. So we have to bring each other down with all of the negative stuff.
Why would you meet someone who is friendly and your first thought be suspicious? I think there can be such a thing as too much cynicism and too much mistrustfulness and I don't think that is a good sign. How can we function as a society, as a community, if we are constantly suspicious and thinking the worst of others?
I do not think I am naive at all, if someone gives me the heebie jeebies I will listen to my instincts, but I would rather not exert so much energy putting up walls and defenses against everything and have a little faith in humanity in general. Yeah, there are bad things and bad people out there, but for the most part, most of the people we encounter are good people.

I tried to leave a comment at a restaurant once because our waitress was really amazing. She gave such great service and really made us feel very comfortable and was very accomodating in substituting a non-meat item for a meat item. Most places aren't and charge you for subbing hashbrowns for the obligatory sausage. She was super helpful and made us feel very welcome. Since the restaurant didn't have comment cards I decided I would let the manager know. When he came out to speak with me, you could see it in his face and body language, the wariness about what he was going to hear. He was preparing for a negative remark. When I gave my compliments to the waitress, he looked really surprised. Every time we went in there after that we received great treatment from all of the staff, and the manager always made a point to come over and say hi to us. I like to think that is because we went out of our way to let them know that they were doing a good job.

Mo said...

Well, thanks for poppin' in, my positive pals! lol...Obviously, I concur with both of you.

I'm a big believer that energy attracts the same, so if you put positive energy out, you will get positive energy back. Like you Jehara, I don't want to go through MY life wary of EVERYone and EVERYthing. Sure, there are bad things that can happen, but I REFUSE to assume the worst from jump-street. If that's "naive", so be it.
(luv your restaurant story, too, BTW...just goes to prove my point: if you acknowledge the good, more good will come.)

Shelly ~ one of my favorite quotes, just for you, girl:

"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; For I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances." (Martha Washington)

I hope you ladies have a wonderful weekend ahead, and again, thanks for playin' along with me!

Shelly B. said...

LOVE the quote Mo, Thanks! It speaks to me.

And I wouldn't miss your posts for anything. I've added your blog to my blog roll.

This is what blogs are supposed to be about....2-way communication. Thanks for the reminder!

Oh and Jehara, absolutely loved the restaurant story as well. Good for you!

Shelly